APPRECIATIONS. (Mother's, women and everything in between)

We should celebrate women everyday.
  So today is international women's day and i felt like saying a thing or two about what i have seen, learned and appreciated from different women, but most importantly MOTHERS.
Praising my own mother would be pretty obvious and much expected so lets leave that for later. As an African (Nigerian) i have seen women go through so much challenges and struggles just for the betterment of their kids. Yes i know it doesn't only happen in Africa, yes i know women from all over the world face different types of challenges.

The pain however, is how under appreciated they are, the pain is how this side of the world makes a woman feel she has to remain in that situation and endure even at the risk of her own life.
In the northern part of Nigeria, the normal and most common advice given to every wife no matter the situation at hand is "Ki yi hakuri" meaning be patient (and i am 90% sure the same is the case with other parts of the country too). Now is this a bad advice? No i don't think it is. I strongly believe that patience pays but i also know that the woman shouldn't be the one to always be patient and sorry. When the man is wrong the woman should be patient but when its the other way round the woman should be scolded and threatened to be sent back to her parents? No i don't think so. This is one of the many double standards that need to stop.

We hear it everyday and everywhere that the man is the head of the family and bla bla bla.... Well, okay they can have that and no woman is dragging that with you. But out of curiosity and gaining more knowledge, let's analyse a few things.
The head of the family i believe is someone who provides, cares and protects the members of their families always. Now what do majority of women do in the typical African home?
1- They cook for the whole family. (Its their duty)
2- Cleaning the house is their birth right.
3- They are nurses to husband and kids.
4- Being a counsellor is an added advantage to your qualification.
5- Last to go to bed, early morning alarm clock.
6- Long story short, you must be an alien with 15 hands, 5 eyes, a 10th sense, with Edo witchcraft talents as an extra source of energy for all the things expected from an African woman.
So doesn't that title fit the woman better? Hahaha okay scratch that because i don't have energy for any arguments

Nowadays, ladies complain a lot about how difficult it is to get a man and settle down. There are quite a number of good eligible bachelors but they aren't available to the ordinary Atinuke, Aisha, or Amara that are good cooks, active church/mosque members, average spoken English, have never been to Abuja not talk of a foreign country, and managed to graduate from UniBen/Kad Poly or UNN. No No No lol, them bachelors are now looking for the types of Aliyah, Niccole or Rachel whose parents are ambassadors, ministers or senators. Studied at Oxford, wales or at least ABTI, travel to Dubai, Paris or the Bahamas for holidays and speaks perfect Queens English.

Our mother's didn't have to worry about all that though. why? Because our fathers were humble, more loving, hardworking, and believed in helping the woman they love to achieve her dreams rather than taking advantage of the family she is from. So why did i bring this up? Well, only because it's one of the problems faced by  mid aged women this days or maybe because i am trying to make us think about are generation to figure out if we are indeed doing this thing called life the right way? We should sit down and ask our selves, why did our parents last longer in marriage than we do this days, what are we doing wrong?
Yes our mother's endured the worst things, but was it for good or bad, are they regretting their endurance now or are they happy they did? If endurance is the key, what type of things should we endure and what do we speak up against? How do we speak and how do we endure?? You can see that the questions are endless and even if some of us are fortunate enough to still have our parents and be able to ask them this questions and also get the answers, believe me the answers would only bring about more questions....

Our mother's are jewels and we cannot appreciate them enough, most of the time they could have left that horrible situation and nothing bad would happen to them, but they held on even tighter and smiled all through as though they were living a fairytale life not until we grew up and saw lines and marks on their faces  and then we realized it is as a result of the fake smiles they put on so we could have a happy up bringing.
To my mother and all the mother's out there you are the true unsung heroes of humanity, you are the priceless gems more valuable than the Hope-Diamond. We can only appreciate you but cannot reward or pay you back because nothing in this world is equivalent to your worth and that is why your worth can only be understood and accurately rewarded by He who created the heavens and earth, God Himself.
Happy International Women's day

     .........Force a Smile and Be Patient.!